What I would have told/reminded myself of before going to stay at a climbers’ hostel in California…
- Use your rhetoric masters degree and know your freaking audience. God. Do not waltz in wearing a clean, pretty print dress. It doesn’t matter that you are wearing dirty Chacos, or that the dress is one of the few clean pieces of clothing you have. You will get looks of the sort that rich people give dirty hippies, except in this case it is the reverse.
- In a similar vein, please bring your beat-up, well-stickered Klean Kanteen. Not the bright blue, ginormous hydroflask that someone left in the back of your truck (crazy that they did that, I know). Your housemates will not know you inherited the Hydroflask from some unknown person. They will just assume you are a pretentious glamper.
- Do not wear the, similarly colored, bright blue workout shirt after changing. It will match your (seemingly) obnoxious Hydroflask. And then you’ll really feel like a tool.
- When shopping at the local grocery, do not get enough food for your four day stay at the hostel. You will arrive at the hostel to find a large fridge that barely shuts from all of the food within, food owned by a hundred different people, and you can tell because of the hundred different names on said food. You will have too much. And seem like you are bragging about it.
- Be prepared for wet-cat-food-smelling meals that other people are eating. They may smell gross, but they probably taste delicious. It’s all about the calories right.
- Do not be so freaking paranoid. Nobody cares about any of the above things. They are too busy planning their next trip.